


Once in a Lifetime

by thesecretdoor



Category: Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 07:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesecretdoor/pseuds/thesecretdoor
Summary: Based on the prompt: Person A and Person B are both mortal and fall in love. Person B dies but refuses to move on because he is still in love with Person A, Person B follows him around, unseen and unheard and still completely in love, believing that they'll be re-united one day when the right time comes. Until Person A meets Person C who helps him to get over the death of their first love. Person B is stuck as a spectator as the only person they'll ever love falls in love with somebody else.





	Once in a Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago but didn't dare post because I'm not confident with writing this pairing >_< Reading about Genki's hiatus reminded me of how much I used to adore him and his Jinguji-dependency. Also my apologies I can't remember where I found the prompt!

Dying had been painful, the fall had broken Jinguji in every way he could be broken, he'd felt it all, but dying doesn't even compare to this.

“I won't forget you.” Genki promises him. It's been weeks since they buried Jinguji here, and every morning, every night, Genki comes to greet him, to tell him about his day and how empty it has been without Jinguji by his side. It hurts so bad Jinguji feels like he's dying all over again, but as much as he tries, as loud as he shouts, as hard as he concentrates as he reaches out to wipe the tears from Genki's cheeks, Jinguji isn't part of this world any more.

It's a few weeks more before Jinguji manages to leave his own grave, his feet working the same way as always though his body, understandably, feels so much lighter. He should go to his parents' house first, because he owes them more than he could have repaid in a lifetime three times as long, but all he can think about is Genki.

It had only been official for a matter of months, but it's been there for so much longer, the bond between them going deeper than words, or statuses, and Jinguji had known from the moment their eyes met that Genki would be the only one for him.

Getting Genki to agree had been the hard part, not because he didn't like Jinguji, he'd been just as crazy about Jinguji as Jinguji was about him, that much had been clear - the difficult thing had been getting Genki to understand his feelings, trusting that Jinguji liked him too because in Genki's head they didn't even exist on the same plane.

It's kind of ironic, Jinguji thinks as he pushes his way right through Genki's bedroom wall, they really are on different planes now.

“Yuta.” Genki whimpers, and for a moment Jinguji feels elated, but then he notices the photo frame clutched in Genki's hands and he knows that Genki can't see him after all. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too.” Jinguji says, and if his cheeks had even really been there they'd have been wet with tears. As it is, Jinguji just continues in the discomfort of being only half existent.

Jinguji had never even believed in that whole 'walk towards the light' bit, but sure enough it's there behind him again. Part of him wonders where it leads, is there a heaven? Is there limbo? Is there just another plane that will further distance him from the only thing holding him together? Is there nothing? It's that thought that keeps him from moving towards it, keeps him running away from that inevitable 'moving on' just the fear that if he goes, wherever he goes, he won't be with Genki any more, that he won't remember how much he loves Genki.

“I won't leave him.” he shouts towards it one time. Genki is laying on his bed, in tears as usual, his face blank and listless as moisture streams from his eyes. He can't bear it, and yet he can't just walk away. “I'm staying right here beside him until we're together again.”. He means it. All he's wanted, more than fortune and fame, is just to be there for Genki in whatever way he can. Even if he's useless this way he won't leave, he'll always be here waiting.

It happens faster than he'd have expected, if he'd even expected it at all. But he's right there in the corner of the room when Aran arrives and walks into Genki's room.

“Everyone's been so worried about you.” Aran tells Genki, his hand smoothing down Genki's hair. “Genki, I've been so worried about you...we all miss Yuta...”

“Don't.” Genki answers, his hand gripping Aran's “Don't say his name.” And Jinguji had almost been happy, fully expecting Genki to push the other boy away but to his dismay Genki only pulls him closer, yanking Aran down on top of him and crashing their mouths together.

Jinguji is on his feet in seconds, sprinting to the other side of the room but no matter how hard he pushes or shoves, Aran is still there, his body lining up with Genki's, pushing down against it as they gasp into each other's mouths.

He doesn't have a body, Jinguji had known that already, but he's certain his heart is there as he feels it break, staring on in desolation as the love of his life, and death, strips the clothes from another boy. He can't even close his eyes as Aran responds, shoving away enough of Genki's clothes to line himself up, spitting into his hand and smearing it along himself before taking the virginity that should have been Jinguji's.

Jinguji had been ready, he'd been ready three years already when he and Genki got together, but he'd waited, he was willing to wait as long as it took until Genki was ready too. Jinguji will be waiting forever more, but there Genki is, right before his eyes, making love to another boy.

It had just been desperation. Once Jinguji's jealous rage quietens enough, once Aran is sated and dressing himself as Genki lays facing the wall in tears again, he understands that it had all been desperation. Genki was lonely, of course he was, he was upset, not himself, not even thinking straight and maybe he'd thought it would help, maybe he just didn't care enough now he wouldn't share that special moment with Jinguji. Whatever it was, Jinguji can tell it wasn't real.

What comes later is real.

Genki was back at work within weeks of Jinguji's death, but it takes months for Genki to return to a semblance of his usual self. All Jinguji can do is watch, day by day, as Genki moves, slowly but steadily, on with his life. He can do nothing to steer Genki as he attaches himself to other juniors, hanging from them the way he once had from Jinguji.

He knew all along that Genki wasn't cut out for being alone, and maybe that's what first drew Jinguji to him, that need to protect him, maybe that's what drew Kishi to him too.

“Kishi…” Genki says warmly but Jinguji doesn’t miss the way Kishi’s face turns down into a frown.

“You never use my given name…” Kishi answers, his lip twitching awkwardly and Genki looks like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck. “Are you still in love with him?”

Genki’s “I don’t know.” hurts more than a simple no would have done because Jinguji knows that 'no' would have been a lie. This is different, colder.

“I know he was important to you.” Kishi continues. “We all loved him…but Jinguji is gone and I’m trying to move on only it feels like you’re still clinging to his memory.”

Genki’s eyes are wet, and Jinguji never liked seeing Genki cry but now somehow it fills his chest with hope. He moves closer, his hand floating through Genki’s cheek and Genki shudders as Jinguji whispers. “I still love you…don’t let go of me.”

The days all fade into one for Jinguji but he can't ignore the passing of the seasons. It was winter when he died. An accident, icy paths and steep steps and it had been so sudden and so un-monumental. Jinguji barely remembers it, but he remembers that it was icy, so when the first snow falls he knows it's been about a year.

It was before Christmas he remembers, when he follows Genki home from work, when Genki is hiding a shy smile as Kishi waits for him on the corner of his street so that they can finish the walk together and decorate Genki's room with red ribbons and golden bells and a sly sprig of mistletoe.

Jinguji hadn't even bought Genki a gift yet, but even if he had he doubts it would have been as thoughtful and sentimental as the ring Kishi has bought him. Jinguji huffs from the corner of the room as Kishi stashes it back into his bag after steeling himself to give it to Genki.

He wanders around Genki's room long after Kishi dashes back out of it to join Genki downstairs. It's changed a lot since that day. The photos of him that used to line Genki's dresser are gone, replaced with smiling faces of Genki with his current junior friends. Only one photo of him remains, and it makes everything that's left of him ache because it was always their favourite. It's just the two of them, just their faces, Jinguji's amused and pouting while Genki is looking longingly at him from mere centimetres away. It's an off-shot from a photo-shoot, Jinguji remembers that much, from the day he confessed, and so long as it's on Genki's wall, even if it's almost lost in the crowd of other photos, that's enough for Jinguji to keep up hope.

Then he heads downstairs. He arrives just in time to watch as Kishi hands over the little black box and Genki opens it. “It's an eternity ring.” Kishi says, clearing his throat and he doesn't need to say more, Genki understands.

Jinguji shuffles closer, fear actually rising in his immaterial chest as Genki smiles and slips the ring onto his finger, his expression genuinely happy. “Thank you. Yuta.”

It’s over. Jinguji lost. Genki is in love again only this one has so much more potential, this one can live on. The light is behind him again and Jinguji tuts as he shakes his head, his unfinished business is finished.

Only it’s not, because Jinguji still loves Genki with every cell of his incorporeal body and it doesn’t even matter if Genki doesn’t feel the same. He once said that he’d wait a lifetime for Genki to return his feelings, well he’ll wait a god damn deathtime too. “I won’t leave him.” Jinguji hisses at the light and he knows that this will hurt, that the rest of Genki’s years might break apart what’s left of him but Jinguji won’t let it end just because Genki has moved on. He can't just let go of the one person that is still everything to him “I’m waiting right here beside him until we’re together again…”


End file.
